Begin again…

Well its certainly been a while since I’ve written on here. So much for making a whole lot of use of this blog. But I’m going to try to write on here more often. As I’ve said this is a personal blog about all things me and things of interest to me such as the books I read, my thoughts on movies…ect.

Corny as it may seem (you’ll find that a recurring theme here with me) as of two years ago I started making a theme song for myself. Something to listen to in order to motivate me for that year. Year before last it was Masterpiece by Jessie J as I worked on my weight loss. I was formerly 215 lb and now at a roughly (give or take- mostly give) 140-ish lbs now. It was the perfect motivator for me to keep in mind that I WILL fail (cause real bacon is good and I love chocolate) and I’m not perfect so neither will my weight loss. I was still working on my masterpiece and I STILL am doing so.

Last year was more on personal growth such as being more brave and outgoing and not being afraid. Speaking up and out to other people, letting my personality shine through was a little hard amongst other people so my song last year was Try Everything by Shakira from Disney’s Zootopia.  Again another song about failing and getting up and doing new things that was an awesome pick me up when I was down and afraid. Never be afraid to try anything new. Like parallel parking, giving a presentation to a scary teacher, volunteering with an organization or speaking in front of your church congregation. Believe me THAT was terrifying, but I am so proud I did it.

This year’s song was much harder to find because my goals this year are very specific. I want to do more. Be more engaged, connected with my community, my church and with God. I’m tired of just being an individual. This year I plan (and hope to follow through with) getting involved in church, continuing my weight loss, get involved with charities, give back more, love more and pray that I get into the nursing program (and another step closer to my passion for NICU’s).

This year I want to get back to my faith and trust in God again after a decade of giving myself some space from him (thank God HE never gave me space). I want to focus on my future and my goals and not get distracted by what’s going on or what people my age are into and doing LIKE dating or drugs or the latest fads. Which is why Sit still, Look pretty by Daya is my song for the year.

I refuse to sit still and look pretty. I will be engaged, involved, focused and determined to do my best to achieve what I want. I will not be stagnant.

And yet on the other hand I will also be working on being a bit more feminine. Or at least a little more caring to myself as well.  Watching what I put into my body, taking care of my skin (cause lord knows I don’t ALWAYS wanna be a pizza face) and finally learning how to my make up properly and style my hair.  –GASP–  I know! A twenty-going-on-twenty-one-year-old girl who doesn’t know how to do any of those? The horror!  Its a miracle I can still call myself a girl, but better late than never, right?

So long list of goals, but achievable I think. Or at least I’ll see what I can tackle this year. More growth. More progress. More makeup certainly. I don’t wanna call them new years resolution because resolutions tend to conjure up the image of a checklist that you do once and never again. My goals are something to constantly be worked on year after year. I’m STILL working on my weightloss, and I’m still learning to be comfortable to speak out and do new things.

I’m still working on my masterpiece and trying everything, but this year I’m not going to just sit still and look pretty

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